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Queen Of Cards
 


Reg: 04-2003
Loc: London, England
Posts: 8839
Greatness: 284 (+380/-96)
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posticon Bullies


I HATE people that bully others, especially in school. And for completey ridiculus 'reasons', as soon as someone has thought of something to bully you with, it spreads and that's what everyone else calls and thinks of you aswell. It's always been like that! They always pick on the nice + shy ones too, because they know they won't be loud enough to stand up for themselves. People always take advantage of nice people, even adults.

Then again kids are stupid, and when they grow up they realize the error of their ways and become more mature and reasonable, but theres always some that still remain bullies even WHEN they're adults, and those are usualy people that are voilent/cruel/thugs/stupid chavs, etc. The scum of the earth. emoticon

They seem to think that they bully people they know won't stick up for themselves because they think they have no self respect, I think that's totally wrong and just a way for them to blame it on the victim and not themselves.
They're just too nice enough to want to be mean back, and they'd probably rather ignore you than bother with you. And because they're shy they probably don't know what to say to them and don't want to draw a lot of attention to themselves. That doesn't mean they should be bullied, no one should.

Even the ones that do stick up for themselves, or fight them back will probably still get bullied, because they know it effects them and they may enjoy fighting them. (I would say this is the case for boys rather than girls -_-)

Just because your not 100% the same and do things the same as everyone else(boring *yawn*), kids will most likely say something about it and pick on you, then it can lead to bullying.

It's just so pathetic and immature to bully someone, and can effect them for awhile if they're not strong enough. Very sadly it can even lead to suicide. emoticon

But generally the ones that are being bullied will become stronger than the bully because they know better.

What are your thoughts on bullies? Should more be done to stop it?

Last edited by Zeen, 20/May/07, 5:10 pm


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20/May/07, 5:06 pm Link 2 this post Email   PM
 
Cleamatra Profile
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Guardian
 


Reg: 08-2005
Loc: Kuroishi -shi, Aomori Japan
Posts: 388
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Re: Bullies


Adults need to step in when bullying is taking place. They need to explain why it is unacceptable, and show that it will not be tolerated. Sadly, if it happens in schools, teachers have very little with which to punish kids these days. Disrespectful morons aren't affected by being expelled from school, or given a detention. More "hands on" forms of punishment should be reinstated. Kids know that there really is no way for a school to punish them, particularly if their parents don't respect the school's authority.

On the other end of the spectrum, shy kids or those that are just "too nice," should not be babied and need to be helped to find the self-esteem and the backbone to stand up for themselves. Weakness should not be encouraged and as such, teachers, guidance counselors, and their peers, should help the "victims" of bullying, find some inner strength and a sense of peace.

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21/May/07, 2:49 am Link 2 this post Email   PM MSN YIM
 
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Queen Of Cards
 


Reg: 04-2003
Loc: London, England
Posts: 8839
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Re: Bullies


More should be done to punish the bullies in school, there needs to be more discipline. So I very much doubt the teachers would bother to change the minds of the victims that are being bullied, if they won't even do anything themselves. In my school even a teacher got in on the bullying. emoticon

And like I said, sometimes bullying gets really out of hand. You may be the kind of victim that has the backbone but then the bullies can tell it bothers them even more so they fight back harder, so as to physically and emotionally bully them. For their own enjoyment.

Even though I think more should be done to help the shy and quiet children, sometimes thats just in their nature. And I doubt having a few words with them would make them suddenly change their personality and fight back. More should be done to teach the bullies what they're doing is wrong, and to make sure they are being watched and monitered, etc.

Last edited by Zeen, 21/May/07, 3:23 pm


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21/May/07, 3:22 pm Link 2 this post Email   PM
 
Cleamatra Profile
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Guardian
 


Reg: 08-2005
Loc: Kuroishi -shi, Aomori Japan
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Re: Bullies


Japan has a huge problem with teachers more or less encouraging bullying, and I even had some teachers tell me that the students who were bullied brought it on themselves, so it is not unheard of. Teachers who bully, or who are found to encourage it, should likewise be punished or removed from their jobs.

Some kids "fight back" and get bullied more, because they don't know how to stand up for themselves, but lash out in ways that the bullies find amusing. These kids generally don't have social skills, and lack self-esteem, and thus, in a manner of speaking, end up encouraging the bullies. As I stated, peers, teachers and guidance counselors need to teach these kids how to stand on their own.

As teachers hands' are more or less tied behind their backs, there is actually very little they can do to stop bullying. Bullies generally don't respect anyone, and teachers really have nothing in their arsenal to enforce their authority if their authority isn't simply respected from their title. So, it is a difficult situation.

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25/May/07, 1:46 pm Link 2 this post Email   PM MSN YIM
 
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Queen Of Cards
 


Reg: 04-2003
Loc: London, England
Posts: 8839
Greatness: 284 (+380/-96)
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Re: Bullies


So the victims should stand up for themselves and not do nothing, but if you do fight back you also encourage them? :shurg: You can't win then! I don't think there's a 'right' way to stand up to bullies, sometimes its just impossible, and there'll always be people that dislike you. Kids are young and not very smart, so they don't really know what they're doing, so it should be the adults that sort the these situations out mainly. :up: Especially considering these kids have to go to school and they're in the adults/teachers care. They should talk to the bullies and the victims, and also give off suitable punishment to the bullies. (telling them to just stop won't do anything)

But yeah its definatly difficult, but to encourage bullying and taking part in it as a TEACHER is even more cruel and disgusting! :down:

Last edited by Zeen, 25/May/07, 6:19 pm


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25/May/07, 5:59 pm Link 2 this post Email   PM
 
Cleamatra Profile
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Guardian
 


Reg: 08-2005
Loc: Kuroishi -shi, Aomori Japan
Posts: 388
Greatness: 3 (+40/-37)
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Re: Bullies


There is a right way to handle bullies.

I was a pale, scrawny white kid with my nose in books, playing D&d and video games, from a lower middle class family. I wore blue jeans and T-shirts, had long hair.

All the bullies were afraid of me, particularly for my sharp wit and biting tongue. I could humiliate them when they tried to pick on me. All that is needed to take down a bully is self-esteem and faith in yourself. I escaped without a single blow ever coming my way, and I did that from 1st grade all the way to 12th. Never did have many friends, either, but those I did have I still have today and my 10 year graduation anniversary is just around the corner.

Teaching kids these things is more difficult than it sounds, though. No where in anything that I posted do I say that teachers or adults don't need to step in and sort out the problems when they arise. I think you are focusing too much on my position that victims of bullying should not be pampered and babied. They have to learn to stand on their own two feet and project the confidence and self-reliance that discourages bullies from approaching them in the first place, otherwise they just get more of the same in their adult life, but have to learn to fend for themselves completely alone.

The thing that bullies do best is zero in on those that they think are weaker and are easy to push over. If they can humiliate an easy target, all the better for them. They think they come off looking strong and bad-ass. Adults need to give kids the tools needed to -not- be a victim. Our countries are moving in the wrong direction, if you ask me.

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6/Jun/07, 11:43 am Link 2 this post Email   PM MSN YIM
 
Arbiter Azariah Profile
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Omega Weapon
 


Reg: 12-2004
Loc: Between madness and insanity.
Posts: 954
Greatness: 92 (+108/-16)
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Re: Bullies


It's hard to strike a line between not pampering victims and taking the hands-off "kids will be kids" approach.

Children need to understand that bullying is unacceptable in any form; physical, verbal, social, etc. Schools should have a firm anti-bullying policy in place. My high school's Year 8 Coordinator had a personal vendetta against bullying, and works to stamp it out whilst the kids are still young.

However, kids also need to learn to be able to cope. The world can often be a cruel place, one in which bullying can and does occur. Kids need to be taught not to be victims, but to take assertive action. They need to be equipped with the skills and coping mechanisms to be able to deal with life.

And striking a balance between the two, kids need to feel that someone DOES care about them, and need to be loved. This goes for the home and the school environment.

But since we're sharing, I've dealt with bullying first-hand a lot. I've always been the nerdy type, holding simultaneous reputations as a 'smart guy' a 'religious guy' who paid attention in RE, and a 'nice guy,' who was easy to walk on.
So I got picked a lot, because it was easy to do and I didn't want to retaliate out of fear of being like them.

However, I managed to shrug it off and deal with the fact that some people are jerks, and if they refuse to befriend me, it's their loss. =P

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Prima: "If we waste any more time on 'weeaboo', we'll be bankrupt by the end of the month!"
Secunda: "Did someone just say 'weeaboo?' Because I heard someone say 'weeaboo'."
Persons 2-10: "Wee-a-boo! Wee-a-boo!"
6/Jun/07, 2:11 pm Link 2 this post Email   PM
 
Cleamatra Profile
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Guardian
 


Reg: 08-2005
Loc: Kuroishi -shi, Aomori Japan
Posts: 388
Greatness: 3 (+40/-37)
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Re: Bullies


Arbiter, I'm not sure where we disagree, or if we even do. emoticon

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7/Jun/07, 6:54 am Link 2 this post Email   PM MSN YIM
 
Zeen Profile
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Queen Of Cards
 


Reg: 04-2003
Loc: London, England
Posts: 8839
Greatness: 284 (+380/-96)
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Re: Bullies


Hmm.. I agree in what your saying in general Cleamatra, it was just because you came across as kinda harsh on kids that are being bullied expecting them to have the skills to deal with them. But yeah its better if things are dealt with while the kids are still young, to give them more confidence and to get them to become more assertive and learn how to cope with life, definatly! BUT its also the school environment that effects how they are greatly, if the school is good, the teachers are good and you have good friends then your more likely to be happy and stronger. Like what Mark said. It needs to strike a balance, they need to have some good and to feel liked in school, if they're the kind of person that sits on their own during lunch break then how would you expect them to be confident? They'd most likely be unhappy, lonely, etc.

quote:

I think you are focusing too much on my position that victims of bullying should not be pampered and babied.



I was bullied in school aswell(who hasn't?), like Mark said you have to deal with the fact that some people are jerks, and its their loss! emoticon I'm a lot stronger now though! My environment after I left and the way everyone's more sensible, mature and grown up really was such an improvement on me. I became more confident, happier, sociable, etc. It's funny because in school I was quiet but my first course in college me and one of my friend's were the loudest and most talkative! A good environment really made me come out of my shell more and brought out the real me. emoticon

Last edited by Zeen, 16/Jun/07, 3:05 am


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16/Jun/07, 2:18 am Link 2 this post Email   PM
 


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